Kirsten (Rease Thresher) knows that she doesn’t like Christmas. What she doesn’t know is that her grandfather was Nazi scientist at the center of the Third Reich’s program to create a master race — not of Aryans, but of half-Aryan, half-elf hybrids. As the last pure-blooded Aryan on Earth, Kirsten’s virgin blood awakens an elf, making her the unwitting axis [see what I did there?] of the Nazis’ last chance to realize their dream, if only they can ensure that she mates with said elf on Christmas Eve.
Elves 1989 is based on a little-seen film (guess the name and year) that apparently doesn’t make much sense (I haven’t seen it, and I’m okay with that). But because the Garage Theatre’s “parody of the screenplay” (says the program) omits a couple of details and doesn’t make clear a couple of others, what’s onstage makes even less.
That, however, is totally beside the point, as Elves 1989 is not supposed to be about anything other than slapsticky fun. But does it find the funny bone?
Probably I’m the wrong guy to ask. Put it this way: I consider Rob Young, who conceived the project, a friend and lovely fellow, but if you draw a Venn diagram of the two of us under the heading “What They Find Funny,” this sort of thing does not fall anywhere near the part where we overlap. File under: Different strokes, different folks.
What I can say for sure is that the entire cast brings plenty of energy — a prerequisite for any such farcical endeavor to have a chance of success even with its core demographic. Speaking of which, for those familiar with the Garage, a good barometer of whether Elves 1989 might work for you is whether you enjoy the homespun melodrama they usually employ as their season-closer. If you love it, then maybe give Elves 1989 a shot. If not, well, The Swan opens August 21.
Because Elves 1989 has a Christmas theme and tonally is of a piece with the liteness that the Garage has always favored at year’s end (whether by staging an installment of the melodrama or otherwise), it was a missed opportunity to slot this for summertime.
The show’s best technical aspect is Matari 2600’s sound design, which — particularly in Act One — nicely cuts ‘80s hits to the play’s action, as well as providing an array of mood music and environmental ambience (e.g., spooky woods). Honorable mention goes to Maddy Wilson for generally solid lighting and a few particularly nice cues.
Puzzling is the fact that almost all scene changes are done in blueish half-light. It’s of no real consequence (even if it’s a bit awkward to see a character that’s just been murdered stand up seconds later), but when near the end of Act Two we see a scene change happen in blackout, it’s impossible to ignore how much more effective this is, particularly considering the horror nature (however parodic) of the material. If the crew can manage it once in darkness, why not every time? (And there are a lot of scene changes, so….)
“It might seem that because the film is so bad it’s funny, it would be worth a watch,” says one of the few reviews I could find online. “It’s not — the plot ambles along so slowly, so pointlessly, that Elves is only recommended for those hardcore viewers who completely love bad movies for whatever reason.”
That’s not a review of Elves 1989 (which, for example, isn’t slow); but like the film, the play on which it’s based can only possibly be recommended to a specific hardcore sort of viewer.
Elves 1989 at the Garage Theatre
Times: Thursday–Saturday 8:00 p.m. (no show July 4)
The show runs through July 11.
Cost: $23–$28 (Thursdays 2-for-1); closing night w/afterparty: $40
Details: thegaragetheatre.org
Venue: The Garage Theatre, 251 E. 7th St., Long Beach