By Micah Smith, Editorial Intern
When you first get into fitness and go to the gym every day, you only hear from the people around you about how you’re making the right choices for your health. They’ll talk about the positives of the experience like there is no evil within it. The truth is that two years of consistent training should nearly mark the end of your initial transformation. You will note your progress begins to taper off and become less dramatic at the end of each week. You are now “in shape,” but why do you still not like what you see in the mirror?
An internal voice speaks to you “eat this,” “don’t eat that,” “you don’t deserve food so calorie rich” and “you don’t look that good,” “fast until 6 p.m.” The hardest part is when you are being propped up by the members of the gym that you belong to who admire the progress you made. Because you are still looking to a time in the future when you will finally feel satisfied by the frame you exist inside of.
But for whatever reason that time doesn’t come, the compliments make you feel like you’re being lied to. This festers into a near resentment towards the fact that you don’t look like the fictional character you’re modeling your physique after.
You begin to wonder, “Why me? Why was I given these desires that make me unable to feel content with the work I’ve done?” Because you have most certainly done the work and you know it too, but there is still a disconnect.
What I’m talking about is body dysmorphia. It’s a major obstacle for people who go to the gym, even though their hobby is meant to alleviate this. My experience with it made me feel like an imposter. In the past and currently, I walk around at 10% body fat year-round. The crazy thing is that I still felt the need to cut weight by eating less several times a year in the past. My 5-foot-11, 175-pound frame was not enough for me for a long time.
What changed this all for me was a recent playthrough I did of the game Red Dead Redemption 2 where there is an eating mechanic present. You can eat food in the video game to take your character through different weights, underweight, average, perfect and overweight. Three years ago when I first played the game, I always opted to keep my character underweight. It was the way I sought to be in real life so the gaunt and drawn-out character model was preferable to me. The drawback of not feeding your character is lower health, which makes the levels more difficult. This was the moment I realized I was playing a worse version of the game because I wasn’t keeping healthy. This made me get up and look at my protruding ribs in the mirror. I was also paying the price for being underweight in real life.
I took my character’s shirt off in the “change clothes” menu and finally saw how starved the main character “Arthur” looked while underweight. I ate in game until I reached the weight labeled perfect, which I would have priorly defined as too large. I would eat regularly in game to maintain this weight.
In 2023, my physique goals are akin to this character model. I eat in the morning, mid day, and at night so that I can keep my strength up.
It’s important to make healthy choices and not treat yourself like an action figure. Looking good is an experience enhanced by feeling good. If you have lots of tasks on a daily basis, you have no time to be focused on how hungry you are and feeling underpowered, you must fuel your body. Of course, still make healthy food choices if you also realize you should be eating more, but some extra calories may do your body good.