A Perfect Flight, a Fractured World

Artemis II Completes Its Mission Amid Global Upheaval

On April 1, the Artemis II mission lifted off from Kennedy Space Center aboard NASA’s powerful Space Launch System, carrying the Orion spacecraft and its crew into the early morning sky. In just under eight minutes, Orion broke free of Earth’s atmosphere and entered space, soon settling into a high Earth orbit. There, the crew began carefully checking every critical system—life support, navigation, and communications—ensuring the spacecraft was ready for the journey ahead.

Meanwhile, a fool waging war on a fool’s errand at the American people’s expense in Iran referred to Medicare and Medicaid as scams, saying the federal government couldn’t take care of them, but had to focus solely on military spending. You’re excused if you felt like you woke up the victim of an April Fool’s prank as we enter Day 451 of our “Find Out” phase. 

After breaking through Earth’s atmosphere, Orion coasted through the vast quiet of deep space. The crew carried out experiments, monitored onboard systems, and adapted to the rhythm of spaceflight, all while watching Earth shrink into the distance behind them.

By the fifth day, the Moon loomed ahead. Orion swept around its far side in a dramatic lunar flyby, passing just a few thousand miles above the surface. At its most distant point, the spacecraft reached more than 250,000 miles from Earth—the farthest humans had ever traveled. There would be no landing this time; the mission was designed as a test, a proving ground for future journeys.

On Earth, Iran rejected a U.S. temporary ceasefire proposal and instead pushed for a different long-term deal. Then the U.S. renewed threats to bomb Iranian infrastructure (bridges, power plants) if demands weren’t met.

On the tenth day, Orion plunged back into Earth’s atmosphere at nearly 25,000 miles per hour. The heat shield endured searing temperatures in a critical trial by fire. Moments later, parachutes deployed, slowing the capsule for a safe descent. It splashed down gently in the Pacific Ocean on April 10, concluding a journey of roughly 700,000 miles.

In just ten days, Artemis II had carried humans deep into space and back again—not to land on the Moon, but to ensure that when the next missions do, everything will be ready.

Meanwhile, the felon in the Oval Office and his regime, like villains in an episode of Pinky and the Brain, scheming and plotting their takeover of the world as they swindle Americans out of their money, clean air, clean water, and clean energy.