Life After Mother: Spark Joy and Love

“Food, clothing and shelter are the most basic human needs, so you would think that where we live would be considered just as important as what we eat and what we wear. Yet in most societies, tidying, the job that keeps a home livable, is completely disregarded,” says Marie Kondo in her perennially popular how-to book, The Life-changing Magic of Tidying up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.

“The true purpose of tidying is not to cut down your possessions or unclutter your space,” Kondo advises as well, “The ultimate goal is to spark joy every day.”

Kondo is a professional organizer who’s built an international empire, selling her unique brand, KonMari, via her website konmari.com. Her other popular books include Spark Joy and Kurashi at Home: How to Organize Your Space and Achieve Your Ideal Life. (“Kurashi” is Japanese for “way of life”) She’s had two home-improvement series on Netflix. 

Recently I’ve been attempting to apply her KonMari method to organizing my home. Primarily she emphases what to keep, not what to get rid of. For any household item, you must ask yourself if you love it, if it “sparks joy.” 

Kondo’s advice is to schedule your organizing according to categories instead of areas, starting with clothing, books, and papers. Next comes sorting and disposing of a miscellany of household goods, décor, supplies and equipment, ranging from electronics to kitchenware to figurines. For this group, Kondo uses a Japanese word, “komono.” 

Last comes “mementos” because, Kondo says, “once you have followed the correct order for tidying, sorting will proceed smoothly, and you will be amazed at your capacity to choose on the basis of what gives you pleasure.” 

Clothes generally aren’t a category I need to spend much time on. I’ve never been a person who went crazy buying apparel, overstuffing my closet. Almost all of my mother’s clothes already have either been integrated into my wardrobe or else sold, donated, or given away. 

Jewelry is an exception. My mother accumulated boxes and drawers full of beautiful jewelry, even if most of it is more “junk” than “fine.” Thinning out the collection and integrating it into my own has already taken days, spread over years, and still I’m going to need several more days to separate what I love from what can go.

Books and papers aren’t major issues either, so I’ve moved along to “komono.” I spent a day attempting to determine which household items that clutter the living room spark joy and love — and only peeled off a top layer. I think of organizing this house as like peeling an onion. You peel off a layer, then peel off the next layer.

You may hire a professional KonMari consultant, but their fees range from several hundred to several thousand dollars, so you’ll need to be certain you’re getting your money’s worth. I’d rather do it myself.