Life After Mother ― Will Holds off Circling Sharks

Shortly before my father died, he suddenly made an appointment with a paralegal to come to his apartment and prepare a more formal will than the self-composed printout with his signature that he’d made previously. I don’t know why, except I did observe some of the women in his life were beginning to resemble circling sharks, and maybe he was beginning to understand the wisdom of keeping them at bay.

On the morning of the appointment, some of his neighbors, some with cranky kids in tow, came to witness the will, along with my father’s most trustworthy girlfriend and I. An hour later we were still waiting, the neighbors were complaining they couldn’t wait much longer, so I made my excuses and left.

Later my father’s girlfriend told me the rest of the story. The paralegal arrived nearly two hours late, then started explaining to my father about what “had to be” in the will. My father thundered that was a bunch of ― I don’t think I need to repeat what he thundered it was a bunch of. The paralegal suddenly announced his machine wasn’t working and he’d come back another day. He never did.

I think about this incident as I ponder my own will, coinciding with the month of August being National Make a Will Month, a reminder to stop procrastinating. I’d like to get by with a simple handwritten (holographic) document, legal in California, but I need to be certain of what language “has” to be in there.

I do have a copy of a California Statutory Will, Probate Code Section 6240, which is intended as a form to fill out, but the instructions insist on two witnesses—a notary is not an option. I don’t relish the prospect of recreating the scene at my father’s apartment, impatient neighbors only acting out of begrudging courtesy. Maybe I can copy the wording of the form in my own handwriting, though.

I ponder this while knowing that we can’t predict what crises may befall us, so the time to make a will is before you need one. Once you suffer a life-threatening episode, it’s too late. Take COVID, which may be less of a concern now that vaccines have become so widely available, but it’s one of many health issues that can progress quickly, too quickly to call a paralegal or handwrite something likely to stand up in court. Whether you use a paralegal, lawyer, law library, statutory form, or your own handwriting, prepare your will now. It’s the best way you and your designated beneficiary can fend off circling sharks.