St. Patrick’s Day Shenanigans Hit the LBC

Looking for something different than seas of green beer this St. Patrick’s Day?

Here’s Random Lengths News’ alternative guide to getting your drank on in Long Beach.

Yeah, so what if St. Patrick’s Day is another hijacked holiday like Cinco de Mayo, providing an excuse to get plastered (like most of you need one)? We’re here to tell you where the liquor’s at.

Consider the Irish Sandwich: a pub crawl starting at Clancy’s and ending at O’Connell’s; a dive-bar option to the Belmont Bore pub crawl. That’s so cliché and yesterday.

Start at Clancy’s on Broadway and Los Alamitos (try a Moscow Mule; not very Irish, but it comes in a copper cup), head to the V-Room on 4th and Los Alamitos, then cross the street to the Stache; slide down 4th to the Red Room, then Fern’s; stumble ever onward to Ashley’s and the Pike, and finally pour yourself into O’Connell’s.

Sure, Clancy’s Irishness stems solely from a name, and O’Connell’s is only as Irish as the green paint and green neon sign make it. The former offers the aforementioned Moscow Mule and reasonable prices on stiff drinks, and the latter provides a good place to end because the bar is, indeed, a dive. Meaning O’Connell’s is like the last-ditch babysitter your parents employed when you were a wee lad or lassie: your septuagenarian, alcoholic aunt.

Mercurial as hell, one day she’s proffering a bowl of chocolates while regaling you with tales of when she was turning tricks with sailors at the original Pike post-World War II and you’re yucking it up together. But the next time you two hang, with her crazy mutant booze strength she grabs your ear, twisting it so violently you’re thinking surgery to reattach it, while the index finger on her other hand jackhammers against your thoracic cavity till you’re sure her fingertip is going to punch through, spearing your heart on the end of her boney digit. All because you were being loud, talking in a normal voice while her migraines flared up.

So you should expect stiff drinks and the ability to go in the parking lot out back, empty your guts, come back in and refill them with more cheap booze. That’s all you should expect.

Continuing with the cheap booze motif but heading to 2nd Street, Murphy’s above Belmont Athletic Club offers Cheez-Its in bowls and the whole Hall of Hops around-the-world-in-70-beers-green-card-passport deal. St. Patrick’s Day might be a good time to see how many countries you can see from a bar stool. Plus, there are all the other bars in the Shore if you want to get away from good deals on liquor and free snacks.

And now for a couple of completely different options:
First, why crawl when you can ride? Besides Uber and Lyft, another option allows you to avoid crawling or drinking and driving: The Big Red Bus, a double-decker from England.

Big Red Bus has two events planned. Both involve joining other revelers while Big Red ferries the lot of you to three Irish pubs. The trip on St. Big Red Bus Patrick’s day starts at Dogz Bar & Grill on 2nd in the Shore. There is also a trip the Sunday before that starts at the Tilted Kilt.
The cost is $30 for either trip.

Speaking of the Kilt, you don’t go there for the booze, although the reasons you do also start with B-O-O. Drinks ain’t cheap and the food ain’t all that good. But there’s a reason the Kilt’s getting swole in the breastaurant niche while their gorilla of a rival shrivels a little more every year. Kilts are way sexier than dolphin shorts and support hose. Unless you’re Richard Simmons.

Next, how about some water with your whiskey? The Queen Mary is putting on its annual Shamrock ‘N’ Roll on St. Patrick’s Day featuring live music from a number of Irishy bands. The only bummer is that it ends at 11 p.m.

The event costs $15 in advance or $20 at the door. Parking is $5. Only people 21 and older will be admitted.

Isolated on the corner of Anaheim and Termino, The Red Leprechaun serves interesting food if you’re into adulterating your booze with food. The place serves Irish-fusion, gastro-pubbie fare along with craft beers and  live Irish music.

As for the rest, with Irish sounding names, interchangeable décor, Guinness on tap and Jameson in a bottle there is The Auld Dubliner, E.J. Malloy’s (multiple locations), Gallagher’s, Shannon’s (multiple locations) and K.C. Branaghan’s—and almost certainly other equally generic examples—all fit squarely in the middle of American Irish pub-land. So, there’s mosdef an offering in your neighborhood. Sláinte!

Details: (562) 888-2870
Venue: The Big Red Bus

Details: www.queenmary.com/events/shamrock-n-roll
Venue: The Queen Mary