Mickey Mouse Should Flee Florida

Photo by steven lozano on Unsplash

By Jacob Pickering

“I love the Bay just like I love LA”

— Snoop Dogg (from Katy Perry’s California Gurls released in 2010)

June 2022 is going to be must-watch TV for all patriotic, anti-Vladimir Putin Americans. At this point, there should be no question about it whatsoever, but in case you still had any doubts at all about deranged, demonic Donald Trump’s terrible, treasonous and terroristic transgressions against our democratic republic, stay tuned to your TV sets starting June 9. Expect Ted Cruz (R-TX) to attempt to flee to Cancun again for a summer vacation. Hasta la vista, racist baby!

Republican Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, the delusional dimwit who actually believes America wants its next president to be a book-burning fascist who is so weak and wimpy that he’s terrified of transgender people, won the governorship in 2018 by only 30,000 votes. The Disney Corporation employs 80,000 Floridians. You do the math! Best of luck running for president in 2024, Ron the con, after Florida votes you out in 2022.

And by the way, current Florida racist Republican resident and failed fascist Fuhrer Donald Trump is 100% guilty of not only treason but pandemicide! Strap Trump the traitor into Florida’s electric chair Old Sparky and fry that Leningrad liar until all that’s left is a burnt pile of blubbery grisly goo! (As opposed to the blubbering pile of Greedy Old Perverted G.O.P. goo that Trump was in life.)

If any state should be known as “the free state” in this “United” States of America, it is my home state of California. After all, one out of every eight Americans is a California resident for a reason! (A multitude of reasons, really.) An idea whose time has come that is worthy of the Golden State and its internationally successful California-born Disney Corporation is DISNEY WORLD BAY AREA.

If necessary, the California crew of Mouseketeers will move every last piece of Disney World (including Epcot Center) back home from Orlando to California in the dead of night, just like the Mayflower movers surreptitiously relocated the NFL’s Colts franchise from Baltimore to Indianapolis back in 1984. Except no one will feel sorry for FL.

Gov. DeSantis (R-FL) is a disgrace! If you keep Ron DeathSantis in office, Florida, we Californians will be taking Disney back ASAP. Just saying. You don’t have to like it. We’ll do it anyways. Or if not California, there’s always the possibility of getting Mickey Mouse mountain high in Colorado! John Denver (R.I.P.) would no doubt approve were he alive.

Diminutive dolt Ron DeSatanist (R-FL) says to anyone who will listen that he is no fan of democracy. No, Ron the con is a classic crackpot Castro Cuban conservative. Just put a fake beard on his fascist face, a stogie between his lying lips, and some fatigues on his five-foot frame and Gov. DeSantis would look — and act — just like a mini-Fidel Castro.