LIFE AFTER MOTHER Grave Trumped by Fairway

Recently, I read news of Ivana Trump’s will being in probate, which led me to wonder how one of the world’s wealthiest and most prominent women either made a major blunder in the planning of her estate or was at the mercy of her family. She did leave an orderly will, providing for her estate of $34 million to be divided primarily between her three children, and even entrusting her dog’s care to an assistant. As for the disposition of her remains, however, she either left no plans at all or simply left open the possibility that her ex-husband, former president Donald Trump (he was the second of four ex-husbands), might handle things his way.

For those unfamiliar with the details, after Ivana died last year, Donald made headlines when he buried her on the grounds of his golf course in New Jersey. Some stories went so far as to suggest state tax law may allow him a tax break (one of many tax breaks he enjoys) for having a grave on his property. Normally, when a couple are divorced and one parent dies, the decision on whether and where to have a grave would be the responsibility of any adult children. Apparently Ivana’s three adult children either had nothing to do with her burial arrangements, or they agreed with their father to put their mother’s grave near the fairway of one of his several golf courses.

How the Trump family designated Ivana’s final resting place and how they’re now handling the distribution of her property provides a cautionary tale in estate planning. Disposition of her finances and property appear to have been well provided for, disposition of her, not so much.

Funeral plans, and other concerns related to one’s final resting place, may be put in a will. Such instructions are not legally binding but are better than nothing, unless you honestly want to end up spending eternity on your ex’s golf course.

As an alternative, you may provide your loved ones with separate written instructions, for your Funeral — or memorial or celebration of life — and how you want your remains handled. Funeral homes and similar businesses often provide materials to help you make these difficult decisions.

Even if you favor the approach my mother and father both preferred, which can be summed up as, “I’m dead and won’t know anyway,” make the effort to at least discuss your wishes with your heirs. Even if you honestly don’t care, at least let them know.