Curtain Call no image

Published on June 14th, 2012 | by RLn Staff

0

Driver Ed turned up the music

By Matt Sharar

Driver Ed left Circus Venus the next day, but not for the next tour stop. Instead, he walked down the length of the wharf, in broad daylight, and down to Dave’s rig. He would join Dave on the high seas, for after going through plan after backup plan on how to defeat the beast, Dave fell back on the old adage about finding your enemy’s Achilles’ Heel.

The demon was an earthbound demon. He was propelled only by his feet, his travelling dance, and couldn’t rage through the waters, couldn’t swim out to take Ed to his Final Resting Place.

It was a new idea and a sound one, for Driver Ed didn’t know how you could call it running when you were on a boat (though the priest he had visited said, No matter where you are child, it’s always running).

Their plan was to set off early in the morning, when the demon was fast asleep. Dave promised that Ed would never have to leave the ship again; he’d keep it docked far enough out of the demon’s reach, and he would provide Ed with a lifetime of rations: beer and whiskey, weed and speed, and food and water, so Ed could pretty much survive forever.

After all, Dave said, he’d been looking for a ship’s assistant his whole damn life–for his longest, most Melvilleian journey of all–and (though he didn’t say this to Ed) a spring cleaning of his boat was in high order.

***

Ed and Dave set on their course, having stayed up all night preparing for their trip. He assured Ed that there would be an entire ration of weapons handy if indeed the demon were to “cross the Rubicon,” one of Dave’s crazy-man lines that Ed had heard all week and would have to learn to get used to.

They were only a few knots from shore when a large wave rippled the surface. In the distance, Ed could hear the horses whinnying, the goats bleating and even the lone lion, roaring. Across the Main Event tent, a football slowly rolled down into a young man’s hands.

But the demon had arrived. Ed and Dave had lost their gamble: It was not just an earthbound demon, but also a demon of water and air, an “omni-elemental,” as Occula called them. If it was indeed a premonition demon, foretelling of the day his dad wanted to fly little Ed away, it also was a demon who had mastered the oceans and the rivers that the plane would have flown over…

It rose out of the water, its skin a tangle of matted wet hair that made Ed flinch.

But its eyes were what terrified Ed. It was as if the demon seeing him was enough, as Ed had never wanted to see the demon. Its eyes were bloodshot, red veins crackling in countless directions, as if the demon was a tired demon: a demon ready to feast ravenously, or be retired.

Ed took out the red-handled, fire-issue axe. On the bow of the ship, he wielded the axe as the monster lunged and grabbed at him. He looked like a Captain Ahab or Allen Quartermain, a modernized version from his childhood adventure books, slicing at the ducking beast.

A limb, Ed thought. If I can chop off a limb, the demon will surely run off…

Dave stood behind Ed–shouting “Swing, Ed!

Swing!”–holding court over the cache of weapons in the hull.

Swinging was not to be the answer. Ed threw the axe at the demon, but the red-bellied beast swerved out of the way, the axe glug-glug-glugging to the bottom of the ocean.

Dave gave a little head flick to Ed and started handing him more sharp weapons to hurl.

Ed flung them and they all impaled the creature–it looked like one of those racks with steak knives poking out at every orifice now–but the demon kept swatting at the boat, as if unfazed by the weapons, and only momentarily held back.

On land, the Carnies stepped out of their tents. All of them–even the perimeter security football boy and his manager, who were angered at their love-in being interrupted–watched in sad awe as Ed tossed the poles and knives into the ocean, piercing the placid water in feeble splashes.

It’s those eyes, Ed kept thinking, staring into the demon’s crimson-crackle orbs. Dave handed Ed a saw, but he needed something sharp, like a javelin, with a oison-pierced tip.

When Enabler Dave handed him the spear, Ed noticed the circus performers, all in half make-up and half-disrobed, watching at the wharf’s edge.

Ed looked into the demon’s red eyes and aimed. With one toss the spear lodged itself into its eye, a rain of blood showering onto Ed, cleansing him.

The demon’s tangled coat slipped and disappeared into the water, wavering like a child’s hair submerged in a bath, under a father’s watchful eye. The Carnies wheeled away as Driver Ed jumped in celebratory leaps and bounds.

They filed back into their trailers and got ready for the day’s show.

Tags: , , , ,


About the Author



Leave a Reply

Back to Top ↑
  • Toberman Gala: April 4th

    Toberman Gala: April 4th
  • The Guide to Fine Dining

    The Guide to Fine Dining
  • Calendar

    March 2015
    S M T W T F S
    22 23 24 25 26

    Category: EntertainmentToledo Show

    27

    Category: EntertainmentToledo Show

    Category: CommunityJewelry Making Class

    Category: TheaterBeyond the Valley of the Flight Attendants

    Category: EntertainmentSoul Sacrifices

    Category: EntertainmentHell Ride

    28

    Category: EntertainmentKomedy Slam

    Category: TheaterBeyond the Valley of the Flight Attendants

    Category: EntertainmentDave Widow and the Line Up

    Category: TheaterStop Kiss

    Category: EntertainmentCircus of Sin

    1

    Category: Art35th Annual Quilt Show

    Category: TheaterStop Kiss

    2

    Category: ArtArts, Media Capstone Exhibitions

    3

    Category: ArtArts, Media Capstone Exhibitions

    4

    Category: ArtArts, Media Capstone Exhibitions

    Category: CommunityLittle Squirts

    Category: CommunitySea Club

    5

    Category: ArtArts, Media Capstone Exhibitions

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: ArtFirst Thursday Artwalk

    Category: CommunityKlaus Center for the Arts Opening

    6

    Category: ArtArts, Media Capstone Exhibitions

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: ArtFirst Thursday Artwalk

    Category: EntertainmentTrio Celeste

    Category: EntertainmentBatala Los Angeles

    Category: TheaterBeyond the Valley of the Flight Attendants

    Category: EntertainmentLauren Koval, Michael Ragonese Trio

    Category: TheaterStop Kiss

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: TheaterThe Real Thing

    7

    Category: ArtArts, Media Capstone Exhibitions

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: TheaterThe Penis and Vagina Talk Shows

    Category: TheaterBeyond the Valley of the Flight Attendants

    Category: TheaterCirque Mechanics

    Category: TheaterStop Kiss

    Category: TheaterThe Real Thing

    Category: EntertainmentTrio Eclectic

    Category: TheaterThe Penis and Vagina Talk Shows

    8

    Category: ArtArts, Media Capstone Exhibitions

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: EntertainmentInna Faliks

    Category: TheaterStop Kiss

    Category: TheaterThe Real Thing

    Category: EntertainmentJohn York

    9

    Category: ArtArts, Media Capstone Exhibitions

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    10

    Category: ArtArts, Media Capstone Exhibitions

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtLuminous, Transparent, Realistic Watercolor Workshop

    11

    Category: ArtArts, Media Capstone Exhibitions

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: EntertainmentBettman and Halpin

    12

    Category: ArtArts, Media Capstone Exhibitions

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: EntertainmentBettman and Halpin

    13

    Category: ArtArts, Media Capstone Exhibitions

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: EntertainmentPiano Nights with Rob Klopfenstein

    Category: TheaterBeyond the Valley of the Flight Attendants

    Category: EntertainmentPaddy Keenan

    Category: TheaterStop Kiss

    Category: TheaterThe Real Thing

    14

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: EntertainmentMusic Under the Guns

    Category: TheaterBeyond the Valley of the Flight Attendants

    Category: EntertainmentCash’d Out

    Category: EntertainmentDoug MacLeod CD Release Party

    Category: TheaterNa Lei Hulu I Ka Wekiu

    Category: TheaterStop Kiss

    Category: TheaterThe Real Thing

    15

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: EntertainmentDavid Sanborn

    Category: TheaterStop Kiss

    Category: TheaterThe Real Thing

    Category: EntertainmentA Spoonful of Sherman: A Symphonic Concert

    Category: EntertainmentSherman Brothers

    Category: EntertainmentBlues Alive

    Category: EntertainmentSunday Jams

    16

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    17

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtLuminous, Transparent, Realistic Watercolor Workshop

    18

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    19

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    20

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    Category: ArtBest of Show and Small Treasures

    Category: EntertainmentPiano Nights with Rob Klopfenstein

    Category: TheaterBeyond the Valley of the Flight Attendants

    Category: TheaterThe Real Thing

    Category: EntertainmentDoug C and the Blacklisted Hillbilly Stomp

    21

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    Category: CommunityCivil War Lecture Series

    Category: CommunityWestern Museum of Flight Lecture Series

    Category: EntertainmentMarkus Carlton

    Category: TheaterBeyond the Valley of the Flight Attendants

    Category: EntertainmentDale Fielder

    Category: TheaterMarilyn Forever - A Full-Length Opera

    Category: TheaterThe Real Thing

    Category: EntertainmentSeduction

    22

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    Category: TheaterThe Real Thing

    Category: EntertainmentL. Young

    23

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    Category: ArtHyung Mo Lee - Lessons Learned

    24

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    Category: ArtLuminous, Transparent, Realistic Watercolor Workshop

    25

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    Category: CommunityBirding at George F. Canyon

    Category: EntertainmentWicklow Atwater, James Hanicutt, & Hangdog Hearts

    26

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    Category: CommunityCelebrate the Eighth

    27

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    Category: EntertainmentPiano Nights with Rob Klopfenstein

    Category: TheaterBeyond the Valley of the Flight Attendants

    Category: EntertainmentCarl Verheyen

    Category: TheaterThe Real Thing

    Category: EntertainmentThe Naughty Show

    28

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    Category: CommunityNature Walk with L.A. City Rangers at White Point Nature Preserve

    Category: CommunityAttracting Birds and Bees to Your Garden

    Category: CommunityGathering for the Grand

    Category: CommunityWisteria Regale

    Category: EntertainmentMarkus Carlton

    Category: TheaterBeyond the Valley of the Flight Attendants

    Category: EntertainmentBruce Baker & The Altered Presence Jazz Band

    Category: EntertainmentNoise Fest XVIII

    Category: TheaterThe Real Thing

    Category: EntertainmentCircus of Sin

    29

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    Category: CommunityComplete Whale Watch with Cabrillo Marine Aquarium

    Category: EntertainmentJanis Mann & Bill Cunliffe Duo

    Category: ArtSecond Sight: New Representations in Photography

    Category: TheaterMarilyn Forever - A Full-Length Opera

    30

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    31

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    Category: ArtLuminous, Transparent, Realistic Watercolor Workshop

    1

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    2

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    Category: ArtFirst Thursday Artwalk

    3

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

    Category: ArtFirst Thursday Artwalk

    Category: EntertainmentPiano Nights with Rob Klopfenstein

    Category: EntertainmentSister Spit National Tour

    4

    Category: ArtCan the Artists of the World be Censored?

    Category: ArtTies to Modernism

    Category: ArtVarnette Honeywood

    Category: TheaterTaking Sides

    Category: ArtMOLAA Presents Fantastic Mexico

    Category: ArtJohn Elgin Woolf: Master of Hollywood Regency

  • Like Us On Facebook!

  • Take a Trip to Havana

    Take a Trip to Havana
  • Join the RLn Network

    Subscribe Today:


    Options


  • Get Home Delivery!

    Get Home Delivery!
  • Reset The Net: Protect Your Privacy

    Reset The Net: Protect Your Privacy